You Have Seen Me and I am Grateful
ASIN B0CS8B646K
2024
In the Gospel of Mark, chapter 10, Jesus passes by Bartimaeus, a blind beggar. Bartimaeus calls out, “Master, let me see again.” Jesus cures him and gives him back his sight.
So many things in life depend on the way we see things. This book is an invitation to look at the way we see things in life. We may not be physically blind like Bartimaeus, but each of us can be blind in our own ways.
Reading through these pages will hopefully give you the opportunity to change the way you look at something that holds you back from growing psychologically and spiritually. Using the Scriptures, stories, and examples from over thirty years as a psychotherapist and spiritual director, as well as insights from a variety of authors, this book invites us to reflect on our own ways of being blind, so that like Bartimaeus, we might be able to call out to Jesus, “Master, let me see again.”
“Peter Wilcox brings an uncommon wisdom to his writing, gleaned from his many years as a gifted therapist, teacher, and author. Drawing on sources both secular and religious, ancient and modern, as well as illustrative, real-world examples, he encourages us to step back from the frenetic pace of our lives and to see ourselves and others with ‘new eyes.’ Filled with practical guidance and suggestions for putting these ideas into action, this book comforts, challenges, and inspires.”
—Chris Christiansen, retired probation officer
“In this guide to a more rewarding, more fulfilling life, Peter Wilcox challenges us to be more than we have ever been on a daily basis. Our preconceived attitudes toward the poor, the homeless, the undereducated, and even our friends, neighbors, and relatives so very often determine how we treat them, who we are, and how they view us. Wilcox’s book is a must-read for anyone desiring a happier life.”
—Jack Grados, retired high school guidance counselor
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I Was Gone Long Before I Left
What Living in the Monastery for Twenty-Five Years Taught Me about Life
ISBN 1725280337
2020
In St. Teresa of Avila’s classic spiritual book, Interior Castle, she describes a difficult period of time in her spiritual journey when she said, “when I think of myself, I feel like a bird with a broken wing.” When I left the monastery thirty–eight years ago, this was exactly how I felt too.
Everybody is a story. Every person has a story. My story begins in 1981. It’s the story about my struggle to leave the monastery after living this lifestyle for over twenty–five years. It explores the reasons why I went to the monastery, why I stayed, why I eventually left and what I have learned. Maybe more importantly, it describes the many years of mental anguish, confusion, and depression that I went through to finally make this decision.
For over thirty–eight years, I have been unable to write about my experience of life in the monastery because I felt ashamed. For years, I thought about leaving, but couldn’t make this decision because I felt paralyzed psychologically and emotionally. Now, after all these years, I have decided to share my story.
This book has been written from a place deep inside me. It has been germinating inside of me for the last thirty–eight years and it comes out of the well of my own journey and life experience. It has brought back many painful memories and called for an honesty and vulnerability that I found daunting.
Ernest Hemingway once wrote that “the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” Since most of my world up to that point had been my life in the monastery, this was the world that broke me down. But after I left in 1981, I became a psychotherapist where I tried to become strong in my broken places by helping others make important decisions in their own lives. Many of these individuals found such decisions difficult to make because of feelings of guilt, shame, and depression.
Anne Morrow Lindberg, in her book, War Within and Without, said that “one writes not to be read but to breathe . . . one writes to think, to pray, to analyze. One writes to clear one’s mind, to dissipate one’s fears, to face one’s doubts, to look at one’s mistakes—in order to retrieve them. One writes to capture and crystallize one’s joy, but also to disperse one’s gloom. Like prayer—you go to it in sorrow more than joy, for help, a road back to grace.” It is in this spirit that I invite you to join me on my journey.
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The Hidden Faces of Courage
Inspirational Stories About the Courage of Ordinary People
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 978-1-5326-7473-0
2019
Mother Teresa said, “to have courage for whatever comes in life–everything lies in that.” When people think about courage, they often think about those who put their lives on the line for us every day, like first responders, firefighters, or police officers. But there are so many others who quietly endure, with steadfast courage, whatever comes their way in life. These people are like the anawhim in the Old Testament–the good, kind people whom very few know about, but who trust in the Lord. He is their strength. It is because of their faith in him that they live their lives with courage to face whatever comes their way.
In over thirty years as a psychotherapist and spiritual director, Wilcox has often been amazed at the strength and courage of so many of his clients…
Some have faced physical disabilities; others struggle with mental, emotional, or psychological problems; still others with personal, family or career issues.
These people are what he calls “the hidden faces of courage.” Often, they are not well-known. They certainly receive no notoriety or press. Yet, they are always there, doing the best they can each day. This book is an invitation to understand and appreciate the unnoticed courage and strength of ordinary people. If we can “walk in their shoes,” it will help us to be courageous for whatever comes to us in life.
“Psychotherapist Peter Wilcox has written a must-read guide to understand the many faces of courage in our lives by highlighting new ways to reflect on our own self-discovery and growth journey. Client examples suggest practical ways to be more authentic and spiritually strong individually, in our family and work relationships, and as citizens of our complex/ever-changing country and world.”
–Bob Connolly, Retired Social Worker, Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services Health Insurance Analyst
“Once again Peter Wilcox provides ample material for thought. He provides an in-depth look at the many ways people exhibit courage. It is a book that lends itself to daily reflection.”
–Robert A. Coyle, Licensed Psychologist
“Allow your spirit to be uplifted. From the first to last page, Peter Wilcox inspired me to think about the courageous actions of ordinary people in many conceivable contexts. I highly recommend this book. Dr. Wilcox helps us to be more aware of the courage that many people demonstrate daily without external reward. He inspires compassion and a generosity of spirit as well as courage for ‘right action’ to make the world a better place.”
–Mary S. Cadden, LCPC, Kensington, MD
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Walking Each Other Home
Reflections about Living a Christian Life from an Older Dad to His Daughter
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 978-1-53261-806-2
2017
The English writer G. K. Chesterton once wrote: “Nothing taken for granted; everything received with gratitude; everything passed on with grace.” These reflections are the author’s effort, as an older father, to pass on to his daughter, with grace, what he believes is truly important in life.
When his daughter was young, he used to tell her that his constant prayer was to live long enough so that “I can get you raised!” Thankfully, that prayer has been answered. But parenting is a life-long process that evolves as we and our children grow older. Through the years, Dr. Wilcox has discovered that being an older father has advantages and disadvantages…
If age gives one more life experience and wisdom, then hopefully these reflections will be a way that he can share his life and wisdom with her and others.
Throughout thirty years as a psychotherapist and spiritual director, Dr. Wilcox counseled many fathers who were genuinely trying to be good parents. This book is intended to help fathers influence, in a positive way, the life choices their daughters will make. It is an invitation to explore how we can continue to help our daughters grow spiritually and psychologically into the person God is calling them to become.
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There are no Right Answers to Wrong Questions
15 Ways Our Questions Influence Our Choices to Live a Christian Life
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 978-1-49828-994-8
2016
Abraham Joshua Heschel said that, “We are closer to God when we are asking questions than when we have the answers.” He believed that to be a Christian is not to be a person who knows all the answers but one who “lives in the part of the self where the question is constantly being born.”
Most of us don’t think very much about our questions. In our culture, we are accustomed to being able to find answers to nearly any question just by typing it into Google search or asking Siri. But behind any answer, there is always a question. Sometimes, the question isn’t clear to us; sometimes, it is not very well articulated, even to ourselves. But it is always there.
In over thirty years as a psychotherapist and spiritual director, Peter C. Wilcox has seen how the questions people ask themselves have shaped their lives in some important ways. This book is an invitation to see how important it is to learn how to ask the right questions about our lives. This is because our choice of questions leads us on a path of discovery towards answers that help us to grow spiritually and psychologically. Our questions orient our lives and give direction to us. We will see that they enable us to make choices that have a tremendous impact on the kind of person we become.
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Don't Be a Waster of Sorrows
Nine Ways Our Sorrows Can Lead to a Deeper Spiritual Life
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 978-1-4982-0733-1
2015
The well known Austrian poet and spiritual writer, Rainer Maria Rilke encouraged his young friend not to be a ”waster of sorrows,” but to use them in a positive way as a means to help him grow in holiness.
And isn’t this the challenge for all of us? Everyone has sorrows in life. The important question is: what can we do with them so that we don’t waste them? Whether our sorrows are personal or communal, how can we share our mutual vulnerability so that we can connect with others in a way that leads to growth?
For over thirty years as a psychotherapist and spiritual director, Peter C. Wilcox has listened to people’s stories about their lives. Often, parts of their stories involve sorrows of one kind or another. Some people become overwhelmed by their sorrows while others have learned how to integrate them into their lives in a positive way.
This book is an invitation to discover how we can learn to integrate our sorrows into our own lives so that we can grow psychologically and spiritually. It suggests nine ways that we can reflect on our sorrows to deepen our spiritual lives, so that as Rilke wrote to his friend, we don’t ”waste them.”
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A Sheltering Tree
Inspirational Stories of Faith, Fidelity, and Friendship
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 13: 978-1-62564-665-1
2014
When we think about the lives of the saints, we can easily forget that they were people just like us–with all the same struggles, temptations, joys, and sorrows we experience in life. They were not born saints; they became saints. And in the course of their journeys through life, other people helped them become the people that God wanted them to be.
A Sheltering Tree offers stories of faith, fidelity, and friendship from both Christian and non-Christian writers that explore the importance of friendship to psychological and spiritual development. These stories show how friends became “special graces,” special gifts given to us by the Lord to help us grow in holiness. Contemporary stories of “ordinary people” illustrate fifteen lessons about friendship in our own time to help us understand the “grace of friendship” in our lives. These stories are a source of encouragement and inspiration for each of us on our personal journeys, leading us closer to each other and to the Lord who has called each of us his friend.
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John Henry Newman: Spiritual Director 1845-1890
15 Ways Our Questions Influence Our Choices to Live a Christian Life
Published by Wipf and Stock Publishers | ISBN 13:978-1-62032-204-8
2013
John Henry Newman (1801-1890) was a man who sought to integrate life and holiness. He believed that the spiritual life needed to be lived in an active and dynamic way, touching a person’s fundamental attitudes and actions. Although Newman rejected the title of spiritual director as such, it is obvious from his correspondence that directing others through various facets of the Christian life was one of his dominant concerns. Surprisingly, comparatively little has been written about Newman’s idea of spiritual direction.
This book investigates Newman’s understanding of spiritual direction during his life as a Roman Catholic, 1845-1890. It examines the major areas in which Newman gave spiritual direction through an analysis of the correspondence from his Catholic years…
It also explicates those principles of Newman’s own spiritual life that found expression in his direction of others. Newman had a mammoth “apostolate of correspondence” His Letters and Diaries have been edited and published in a series of thirty-two volumes, embracing more than twenty thousand letters.
The first ten volumes deal with Newman’s Anglican period; the remaining twenty-two volumes cover his Catholic period and are the primary source for this book. These volumes have been studied chronologically in order to determine and extract the major areas in which Newman gave spiritual direction to others, and to investigate the stages of development in his spiritual advice.
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In addition, Dr Wilcox has had a number of articles published in various related journals and periodicals. For a list, please use the Contact page of this website to request a listing.